Cheers to Mom

It has taken me over a week to process this blog. After all, how do you describe in words a person who is so fundamentally important to your very being that everything that comes out in words sounds trite or superficial?

My Mom is my mentor, my role model, my hero, essentially, one of the most important people in my life. My Mom shaped the person I am today. Not that Dad didn’t play a role in it, but Dad came in later in the picture- the later in life lessons and understanding. When I was young, it was all about my Mom. I want to share a bit of my Mom with you because Sunday was her birthday. My selfless, loving, non-judgmental Mom is 25 years older than me. Those of you, who know my age, can do the math. The most critical thing I notice about the aging process of my Mom is that the more years pass, the more we resemble sisters rather than Mother/Daughter. I age, she doesn’t.

Mom has to be the smartest person I know. She is that incredible level of smart that I never understood until I became an adult. Mom can finish crossword puzzles- in ink! Mom knows the answers to any version of Trivial Pursuit. Jeopardy? She plays while cooking. Wheel of Fortune- often knows the answer before a single letter is turned. As a child, I took this for granted. I thought every parent was this smart. My Mom finished her Master’s Degree while working full-time, two young kids goofing off in the library while she was studying, and a husband who worked long hours and was constantly traveling for work. I have no clue how she did it- and I try to tell her how amazed I am by what she did- and often. Her reply? You do what you have to do.

As if being brilliant isn’t intimidating enough, my Mom is gorgeous. She is the perfect height, the perfect build, crystal blue eyes and blonde hair. Could I even get one shred of my Mom’s genetics- nope! Even today, walking next to her, I feel like an awkward gangly, girl with the wrong coloring, wrong clothes, and wrong everything. Sorry Dad, but not fair that Chris got the gorgeous genes. Mom always carried herself with confidence, something I still have not acquired. I am not biased here; my college boyfriend once said if I could guarantee I would age like my Mom, he would marry me on the spot. We’re not married. It was creepy to have my college boyfriend hitting on my Mom.

Mom set an example of what a parent should be, although at the time I didn’t realize it. She showed me that a Mom can and should have her own identity and can still be dedicated to her kids. Mom had an amazing career in education. She was well-known, well respected, and admired in her field, but away from school, she was still her own person. She was involved in Junior Women’s Club, Tennis Group, Golf Groups, Bridge Groups, you name it, and she was involved. She was always there to do the business politics with Dad, kept an amazingly clean house (without a cleaning lady and three messy people living with her), was a restaurant quality cook (except for the month of casseroles- sorry Mom, but the casserole phase- I still have nightmares!) and encouraged me and my brother to explore everything, do our best, and be true to ourselves. I can’t remember Mom not allowing us to explore something, and this I took for granted, and for that I will always be sorry.

As a kid, you don’t realize what a parent does without so their child can do something or have something. I loved art, so Mom drove me into Omaha on Saturdays to the museum so I could take art classes. She even found a local artist to give me more lessons. She made sure I got to dance classes (ballet, tap, jazz, and toe) and sewed costumes and bought expensive dance shoes and paid for even more expensive cheerleading uniforms. She didn’t just do these things for me. Chris pursued tennis, running, soap box derby. She was a scout leader for girls and boys and she planned numerous amazing birthday parties. When I got older, she took me shopping every weekend, and now I realize it wasn’t about making sure I had the latest clothes, it was about making time for me, trying to get me to talk to her about things and being a part of my life. She was cool. She taught me to shop sales, find bargains, plan ahead, cook, multi-task, skills I use everyday.

And what did Mom get as a reward for being so awesome? Me, an unappreciative, often embarrassing, rule-breaking, snot-nosed kid. I never said thank you enough, I constantly reminded her of what other kids had and I didn’t, made her feel guilty for not being a Room Mom or making me walk to school because she had to work. I was awful and she did not deserve it. Even now, after all the hell I put her through as a child and as an adult, Mom is my biggest supporter. Mom listens to me complain, tells me she is proud of me, and never seems surprised by an accomplishment. She never shows me any doubt she may feel about my abilities. Mom is a solution gal, so if life is throwing curve balls or lemons, she knows how to make the sweetest lemonade or become a better catcher. When I ask her about this, how she never stops to wallow or cry or be upset, she has the same answer- you do what you have to do.

The only good thing I did for her was give her grandkids. Although I think she feels I overdid it with four of them, she loves them all. She is an amazing Nana. She believes in building individual relationships with her grandchildren and recognizes their own talents. Having four daughters who are often looked at as a group by family and friends, I can never thank my Mom enough for recognizing them as individuals! My girls love to spend time with Nana. They read or do art or play on the computer or play games. She lets them drive the golf cart, takes them swimming, to the movies or shopping and lets them help her cook. She helps me be a better Mom by giving me advice- but in a way only when I am asking for it. She does not force an opinion or herself (although many times I wish she would) on me, my husband, and my kids. We all love her for it.

Happy Birthday Mom. May there be many, many more. Thank you for everything.